Why Why Why???

Heyy everyone =] iunno recently i've been feeling down. Maybe its the work maybe its the stress or my problems but either way. It not like the feeling of giving up i really don't know how to explain it just somethings i'm so tired of dealing with over and over again. As for friends problems i don't even have time to deal with it yet they keep coming. I'm not like friends are annoying or anything i love my friends but its been getting harder and harder. It like i can understand but they can't and i know naturally its hard for humans to trust each other but because of my personality i tend to just give my trust like nothing. I just wanna let go i guess and if i did all these problems would go away i mean i could deal with them but because of school and everything i really don't have that much time. I used to be able to handle people unloading on me but now its just ridiculous because it feels like every problem people have is being unloaded on me cause somehow it deals with me. So i want to fix it and take care of it but the time it uses is just too much for me to handle. Can i deal with it yeah i can but right now it isn't my priority until i can fix up things with my family and school i don't think i can handle anymore. My hands are full but people still pile things on me and i'm at a point where even one more thing is going to make me lose my balence and fall so i guess i just wanna have people pray for me i that way =] just right now i need some alone time with God and with myself to figure my own stuff out first before figuring other stuff out i'm still happy to help just maybe not as well as i usually can =]

God's New Child,
Andrew Lai

My Struggle PT.2

Hey hey its me again ahaha well i don't think the situation has gotten better because my dad talked to my teacher but still i'm kind of relieved. Just even talking to him while holding on to a secret is actually really tiring. I could barely wake up today because of there so many things so little time. I guess i haven't been able to fully conquer this thing but its been slowly getting easier. Do i struggle yeah i do plenty never expected it to be like this well i never expected any of this but its alright. I just have to keep moving forward and stop myself from deciding to turn the other way a bit like how i played badminton last Sunday. When playing in the front u constantly have to look forward the minute u look back they other side is given a chance to score and i kept looking back. Why? there are some things that are still hard to let go that u hold them by a couple loose threads and somethings they can tangle you up and mess up your pace of growing spiritually with God. I guess God has given me so many tools to use good ones and bad ones just this time i picked to use one that wasn't so great. I still have lots to learn about making decisions but i think at the rate that i'm growing at its not bad i'm not making unforgivable mistakes just some minor ones that tweak me into place after all God isn't done with me yet i'm a work in progress thanks for your prayer =d and if u guys have any that u want me to pray for u guys just post =]

God's New Child,
Andrew Lai

My Struggle

This time i guess i wanted to share a bit about how i am feeling at the moment. As you can see from the title I'm struggling and never thought it would be so hard. In the beginning of the journey just starting off new as a follower of Christ i thought this time for sure i can do it. But its just hard to change myself so quickly i guess i should have expected this. I want to stay pure and pursue the Truth My God and recently i'm been falling away from him. I'm trying to cling on but slowly my grip is slipping and i feel like i'm going back to my old ways. Is it painful definitely even with Christ as my Shepard and guide i still stray away from time to time. I don't want to make the same mistake again and again. I know now how weak i am and i need God's strength to lift me up from falling. Maybe this is a trial set up for me and i have to grow from it. I feel like i'm going to break again at any moment and i'm so fragile so i need God to protect me. I haven't been praying to him enough i guess and maybe i should try to listen for him once in a while since i might have missed him calling me to give me help. I guess this is something you can pray for me as a prayer request thanks =]

God's New Child,
Andrew Lai

Christ in my Life and How I Came to Be Christian

Hey, I decided I should share a bit about myself and how i came to where i am now. I was born a Catholic and raised in a Catholic school i never really accepted Christ back there it was more like when i die I'll be saved by him cause i know who he is. It never really affected me in anyway because life seemed okay for me. I lived for the moment and as long as i was happy it was fine. Then as life went on to high school everything started crashing on me. I realized lying was an easy way out and i could get out of everything doing it. I could have fun spend time with friends and be whatever I wanted to be for that time being. Thank God i have such caring parents that always came down on me with everything i do. If there weren't there i probably wouldn't have made it through even grade 9 passing any courses. The painful truth remained my inability to control myself. My parents set restrictions but i broke them again and again. Sadly i didn't know my actions were tearing my family apart. In grade 11 i began to see a social worker and to find the problem that laid within me. Of course, I knew what was wrong but i refused to believe it was the real problem. i blamed everything on my parents with how my life is and how i am. In the middle of my grade 11 year I became disappointed in what I've become. My dad told me go to Teens Conference and it will change your life and who you are if you are willing to take the chance. I made that decision and took that chance. It became the turning point of my life. I slowly was guided by God to a Church and went to their fellowship. I met many great people there and had a lot of fun. It wasn't enough though i was still the same liar i was before all this. Just this last winter 08 where i spilled everything to my pastor. From that moment i began my fight to change and many things have happened but i'm still fighting the battle against the liar in me. It's hard at times but i know if i rely on God and my friends my load will be light and i have officially been baptized and now I'm no longer the false believer that i was before but finally a true follower of Christ a true Christian.

God's New Child,
Andrew Lai

Keeping in Mind

Hi Hi it's me again just blogging about this weekend was for me. All together it went pretty smoothly but there were some minor issues that i dealt with. I realized these week just from my Devotion time that many of us don't keep other people in mind. Sometimes actions that might not seem harmful might actually be a ticking bomb waiting for the right time to explode on you. I love all my friend and always cherish them family i do that even more. I know from my own experience that things that you do can be dangerous and its really sad too because it tear friendships and families apart. This weekend I noticed that I it too so no one is perfect we all make mistakes but got to learn from them. That's why from now on i decided i first need to think in the other person's side of how they would take it and if you're not sure don't raise up that personal issue. Just a matter of watching what you say. The main point is when the comment has been made notice it and try to stop it from progressing further or the problem will get worse. There are many people that I know that the way they are I know its how they are but sometimes self control needs to be set in place. Many of my close friends that i trust with the deepest of my personal secrets sometimes let something slip out and I'm okay with that. There are also the ones that keep talking and don't notice that its making the atmosphere uncomfortable and making people insecure. Trust is key here when you don't notice what you're saying is making someone uncomfortable it makes them feel uneasy and not sure if they should trust you anymore. When that comes along it begins to break that friendship apart. At first, it seems like everything is okay but things start to go the wrong way and eventually out of control. Finding friend who truly care for you and understand you is really hard but when you do find them keep this in mind because losing them is really painful. When those people start avoiding you try and ask them whats wrong once in a while but also remember to mind your space let them have some alone time if its nothing great. If it's something then give them time to be ready to tell you whats wrong. The main point here is always keep in mind with everything you do around people what might happen if you do that because like the bible says we need to sharpen each other and help each other grow in our spiritual walk without friends we'll grow dull. Remember Cherish Your Friend With All Your Heart, Soul and Mind. Grow Laugh Share and Have Fun!


God's New Child,
Andrew Lai

Reflection of this whole week

Hi Hi yeh its me again =d just sharing about my whole week =] so far this week has been probably the best week I've had in a while. Many things have happened but overall its been pretty good productive at the same time fun. Though my past has been sorta catching back up to me all i can really do is rely on God for these things and tell the truth somethings I still process things in my brain to make up lies but I push the truth out cause I know its better that way. This way distractions can be reduced to its least =d so i can focus on whats important. Though there are other issues that still bother me and might still be a huge problem but hey God can fix everything =d just gotta give it up to him and he'll make it all good. I guess just so people know I have a thing with swearing now well some people kinda know LOL but like yeh i'm not telling people not to do it but like i don't encourage people to do it =d and like some people just just constantly do it like in every 2 sentences and its kinda annoying to tell you the truth.For those people who are christian or catholic that believe in God and Jesus and know the bible you guys should know that the tongue is a powerful thing it can be used to curse things and glorify things but gotta remember well my dad told me this but yeh xD everything you do should glorify God and swearing really doesn't do it. So whatever doesn't glorify God just keep in mind don't do it. If you've read The book of James in there it says that the tongue controls the whole body and out of the same mouth cannot curse God and praise God. I know some of you guys will say its just for stress release and like it doesn't mean anything but if you thing about it what are you swearing at and why you're doing it. Its not really necessary and i really can't stress that enough. I guess this is one of the things I've been dealing with this week and like if your going to be a christian you have to remember you're representing God and when you swear you're making God look bad and to be honest here please if you're going to do that don't call yourself a believer of God. I'm not trying to criticize anyone about it. Its just something to keep in mind when you do anything. What comes from your mouth will should you're heart's condition and whether you are a mature believer of God. I guess I've never brought this issue up before but this week its bothered me a lot. I mean when you use a swear it seems like you have nothing better to say. there are so many other ways you could have said what you wanted to say but you chose to do it that way and really it makes you look like you are really unintellectual because those aren't all the words you can use yet seems like they are cause they're all you ever use. To me it hurts cause now that I'm a follower of Christ just knowing that there are people who say they are but at the same time what they do isn't Christian like at all and its tainting God's name making it seem like the whole faith is stupid and I just can't accept that. I like all my friends and i just have this small request if you're praising God and believing God don't use your mouth to make God look bad. ahaha that was long =d oh wells i guess i needed to get that out. My week still was a growing experience and God blessed me a lot this week with courage and strength to resist the devil. I thank him for all he's given me though i know no matter how much i thank him it won't be enough still i thank him from my heart i guess that all for now till next time
cyaaz =d

God's New Child,
Andrew Lai